i don't like it!!!

this is the first time in ten years that i haven't taken a girl/boy to college.....i am full of tear drops...i think the rain outside started something...along with old george strait songs....each fall for the last ten years i have loaded up my jeep and headed to college with one of the girl/boys..first aubrey, then taylor, then logan....both boys at the same time some years....our travel mapped out and stops planned....hemet to riverside, ft. worth to longview,  boys were .texas to oklahoma then pa,  and texas to ohio, then georgia to ohio...the towns we loved.....memphis was my favorite .....super breakfast places......favorite hotels outside  st. louis.........we had two routes...one up through texarkana  and one through missouri....i loved em both.....leaving early in the am.....country music up and singing along when i drove taylor.....learning reggae when i took logan...and even teaching logan what it meant to love the bee gee's.....i think he still secretly loves them!!!  lol
getting up to their schools.....watching them meet up with their friends...the smiles, the hugs....moving in....making up their beds....even when i knew it would never stay the same.....the run to walmart....picking up the things we forgot.....spending a few days with them settling in....wishing they would come home with me....tears dripping down my face as i said good bye and headed back home alone.....
so proud of them...so amazed that they were away from home and making the best of it.......working hard to earn their degree.......so amazed at how everyone loved them....folks introducing themselves to me and telling me how much they loved my girl/ boys.....it felt good....they are amazing young women/ men......and no more heading to college to let off my girl/boys....
i dont' think i like this stage of life....i don't understand when parents can't wait for their kids to leave home........i know they have too...i know it's healthy..........i know my kids are where they are supposed to be....but it doesn't mean i have to like it.....no i don't like it.....
as i've said a million times....i wish i could do it all over again....maybe next year with all my candles glowing on my birhtday cake...i will make my wish that all my kids were  babies and home again....it might just work!!!
good bye wonderful chapter of my life.....i hope i am around to take amelia to her first year of college....